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Camilla Rhodes

[ website | [[ therewasblood ]] ]
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[22 Oct 2004|01:11am]
new journal: methoxsalen
new S/N: m3rdur

both of them, forever.

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[23 Jul 2004|08:44pm]
so i almost one 1,000 dollars from poetry.com but i made a fucking grammatical error in my poem and i can't be a winner because of that. fuck ass. but, the poem is being published in some book after i fix my mistake. how fucking sweet is that. i'm a poet bitches.

the poem


I never told you I love you. I always thought it was an understatement. Words couldn't express the way I felt for you. My actions weren't good enough. My heart bled for nights after you locked the door. I'm wishing that I could find the key... but the key will always remain in your heart. I still dream that your beauty will one day fade from my past. I'm still dreaming that you are still in my arms. My dreams never come true. But my dreams are always about you. My shirt is still sprinkle with blood from that night you tore my heart out. I wish this memorie could be cleansed. One year feels like eternity. I'm sorry that I wasn't everything you needed. I'm sorry that I crushed your life with my bare hands. I'm sorry I ruined everything you are with everything I am. I can repeat my sorrow.. but I choose to lay by myself in hopes that I never wake again. Goodnight.

I didn't put the poem in stanza's or verses or anything, but oh well. I did for the poetry.com contest, but right there is just the thing. My error was "memorie." how could i do that shit wrong. there might be more acctually. I should prove read it. Oh well.
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[06 May 2004|02:18am]
[ mood | crushed ]

sorry for being me.
ill leave u alone now.

3 comments|post comment

[02 May 2004|11:11pm]
New Journal.


Add me, and I'll add you back.

Peace Yo!
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[02 May 2004|10:33pm]
So this is fun. I've been looking for Ashley Olsens live journal for like 3 hours. I found about 300 of people who say they are her. Haha. It's so funny. And people buy into it. I found Chad Gilberts from Shai Hulud. And "benji" commented in it. Lol. RIGHT!!!! Thats so funny. This is a real blast to be honest. I mean, if you are bored. It makes you have a lil fun. Haha.
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[02 May 2004|08:26pm]
New background, new read/post links (kind of), new icon, new colors. Same meaning. Same song. Same band.

Like or Dislike?
7 comments|post comment

[02 May 2004|01:09am]
So I had a nice little chat with Christopher from CxC. I don't know. I guess it was an ignorant thing for me to say that cxc was stupid since I didn't know much about it. It just seems like a big family that is all sxe. And is very sincere to their beliefs. He told me that the guys at shows that start fights aren't always cxc members. Just because they wear dog tags dosen't mean anything. There are way more crews out there that are x'ed up and wear dog tags. Not just cxc. He said that they will fight when put in the situation. They don't like being disrespected at all. They don't like the romours that are out their about them. They don't go around and promote violence by beating the shit out of little kids. And the wouldn't bother with a little kid anyway. I guess they fight fair when put in the situation.

Now with that said. I have alot of respect for the courage crew and yes, what they stand for. All thought I'd never be it, and don't want to be it. If I didn't smoke or do drugs or have sex or drink (gee, I'm a bad kid) I still wouldn't want to be sxe. But I do now respect it. I'm looking forward to meeting Christopher at his show (hes in "This Means War") June 7th at Idle Kids w/ Undying.

So if he is in cxc and playing at Idle Kids I'm sure that his crew didn't want to kill the owner. Now that I got a friend who is part of the crew. I won't need to go by peoples stories they say about it.

I'm sorry Toby for trying to prove you wrong about what I said wasn't ignorant. And congrats to being the only person that has posted something against me (in a way) in my journal and when I tried to fight it off. You just backed off. Lol.

And anyone else I didn't believe.
5 comments|post comment

[30 Apr 2004|02:50am]
[ mood | interesting ]

Interesting day/night.

First off I woke up at about 1:30. Then I went on-line and thats where I discovered that Brandon left school. He came over a bit later. Then we went to play soccer at 13 and John R with Aki and Steve. It was fun, but kind of a waste of time. Well I came home and cut the grass. Then I went back on line were I went to buddypic.com and realized I was number one. And now I have 170 emails that I'm tottaly not checking. But oh well. I watched Nightmare on Elm ST. 5 with my neibghor since shes a pussy and can't watch those movies by her self. After that I came home talked to some people decided that I'm going to ask Dave from cxcb what they are all about. Then I started talking to Richard from Through The Eyes Of The Dead and he gave me permission to make them a Purevolume site. I was excited. I learned some good facts about Through The Eyes Of The Dead. Like they wrote their whole CD in 2 months. And they've only been a band for 10 months. And their singer is 18 and dosen't have his liscense and he gets around by a moped. Haha. They are cool guys. Can't wait to see them. Well yeah. I forgot an important event that happen today. Amanda and Natalie came over. I haven't seen them in like a week or more. It's great. Amanda looked really good today. She looks good everyday but today she looked pretty damn toasty if you ask me. For Natalie.. she was lookin good toe. But damn, shes such a bad driver!!!!! Not saying Amandas much better but oh well. We went to the mall so Natalie can get her toe nails touched up or someshit like that. Then they took me home and I ended up here. Yeah. I'm out peace.


check it out playas.

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[28 Apr 2004|12:19am]
New favorite word - Interesting.
1 comment|post comment

[27 Apr 2004|02:24pm]
it happened all so fast heavy with sleep my eyes closed
the next thing i remember was crawling out from the car and
seeing you lying there
holdin your head kissing you for the last time
the taste of blood on my lips
your clothes torn apart perfumed with gas
it seems like it was yesterday when the rain poured down
i can still hear your screams as if it was happening all over again
saturday, december 4th that night woudl become a grave
that would crush my heart
joy and laughter exchanged for grief and silence
searching for so long to fnd you and the moment
you were ripped from me
laying here on this empty shelf never to be read again
in these pages lies every memory of you
the wind blew your heart over my eyes and i slept for days
praying not to awake, but these dreams can only last so long
facing the day looking through these tears
i'll always look back and remember that night as you lay there
looking over that casket seeing your face times of past rushing
touching your cold hand wishing it woudl touch me back
you look so pretty lying thee just like the first day we met
it feels so real like olt times but it's nothing, it's nothing
i can taste the stale air on my tongue and death lights up the sky
hope finds itself it and end stopping at my thoughts
pictures of you help bring back the tears
walking in the present but living in the past
how much longer will i embrace sorrow?
from the moment you entered my life
my whole outlook on love would change
you brought out a happiness i didn't even know i had
and now you've gone leaving without a goodbye
that glass heart that rested in my chest has fallen and shattered
here on lord is the remains of a broken heart
for i have faith you can give me joy and life again
death has fallen but love covers me
heaven is now home to my angel of love

[ u n d e r
o a t h
c r i e s
o f
t h e
p a s t ]
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INTERESTING!!!!! [25 Apr 2004|12:03am]
[ mood | smiling ]


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Dead In Romeos' Eyes [21 Apr 2004|06:43pm]
Well today was the first acctuall DIRE practice. It was good. He got about half way through a new song. It's half way done (if that) and its already 3 minutes and about 20 seconds long. Its going to be a long song. I like how it sounds. Everyone else likes it. So far it sounds like a good mix of still remains, through the eyes of the dead, and everytime i die. Shay still hasn't practiced with us becuase of ADF practice, and because he's a lame ass. J/k. Well thats all I guess. Now go post or doing something you do best fuckers!
2 comments|post comment

[19 Apr 2004|08:49pm]
[ mood | i'm doin' alright i reckon ]

symphony in peril [vs] from a second story window
the mars volta [vs] coheed and cambria
give up the ghost [vs] the hope conspiracy

5 comments|post comment

[17 Apr 2004|07:34pm]
I got my hair cut today. Alot of it. Too much. I didn't want it this short. But oh well.. It will grow back. Alright, I'm out. Peace.

- ME

5 comments|post comment

Seratonin: Depression [16 Apr 2004|12:24pm]
Have you ever seen an anti-depressant ad on the TV? Do you know how they talk about "Depression is caused by a chemical in-balance in the brain." This is true in a way. Seratonin is the chemical we are talking about. Have you ever got that nervous feeling or the feeling of "butterflies in your stomach?" The odds are that it was caused by Affection.. and affection is caused by Seratonin.

Have you wondered why the Valentines Day trend is giving your girlfriend/boyfriend a heart shaped box containing about a dozen little chocolate candies? Well like I said when you have a large supply of seratonin in your brain cavaity, the more your brain will release. And affection is caused by seretonin. Chocolate cotains alot of seratonin. That means more seratonin will be released and the more "love" you will feel for your girlfriend/boyfriend that bought you the chocolate.

With that in mind we know that seratonin can have a big effect on a relationship. You may think you are depressed.. But other things cause depression besides the lack of seratonin.

Alcohol can cause depression. As well as marijuana. Almost any drug can trigger depression (we are all capable of it). Depression can also be triggered by a tragedy in your life. Maybe your dead died when you were at a young age. Or maybe your mom can't support you by herself. Or your parents abuse drugs. Maybe your best friend commited suicide, or was murder. Also your appearance can lead you to depression. Studies show that Childhood Obesity is linked to Depression. The studies prooved that Obesity is a cause of psychiatric disorders -- mainly; Depression.

But all in all. Seratonin is linked to depression as well as drugs, broken homes, Obesity, and real life tragedies.
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[15 Apr 2004|02:48am]
It is not uncommon for fashion trends to reflect the style of music a person listens to. One of these trends -- males wearing female jeans -- not only evinces the type of music these men listen to, but it is also a characteristic of an entire fashion scene.

"Fashioncore" is the term that describes those who wear girl jeans -- at least that is what they call it.

"It's just a scene thing," said Brandon Sheridan, who is a self-proclaimed fashioncore scenester. "You've got the black hair over one eye, the white belt, the girl pants, the converse -- it's the 'scene' thing to do."

"The scene" refers to the national hardcore music scene.

Hardcore, as defined by Travis Leblanc, an English freshman, is a type of music with a couple of distinctions from metal. There is a chugging beat, which you dance to, "crazy" tunings with many dissonant chords, and a screamer, a singer who can "growl and shout his head off."

Bands such as Norma Jean, Through the Eyes of the Dead, and Reflux are considered hardcore.

Leblanc broke down the definition of fashioncore.

"There are two divisions of hardcore," Leblanc said. "Fashioncore and tough-guy hardcore. Fashioncore is more image-oriented. Same music [as tough-guy hardcore], different look."

The look he describes is common among students. Walking around the quad, it is easy to spot someone wearing girl jeans, a "super-tight hoodie," and a bandana in their back pocket.

Ryan Warden

Also common among fashioncore style is a white belt to go with the female pants, although this is usually only popular among those who like grindcore.

"Grindcore is another style of music," Leblanc said. "It's really out there, spastic, crazy -- people who like grind usually wear the belt."

Most of the girl-pant wearing few claim how comfortable girl pants are as opposed to men's jeans.

"They're so comfortable and I feel so good in them," said Danny Farber, a 20-year-old girl pants enthusiast at The Furnace music venue. "They show my figure off better. Guy pants just don't do it for me."

Sheridan agrees with Warden, although there is one stipulation.

"They're actually more comfortable than guy pants -- as long as you wear tighty-whities," he said.

The reasoning behind guys wearing girl pants could be because of the feeling of belonging to a group, and recognizing those who share the same musical tastes.

"It's predominately a hardcore thing," Leblanc said. "Nine people out of 10, if you see them wearing girl pants, they like hardcore. You're walking down the street, you see a guy wearing girl pants, you know what it's all about. They're into hardcore."

Julie Reboul, a philosophy freshman, enjoys spotting guys wearing girl pants.

"Boys in girl pants make me blush," she said. "I love it. I think it's the hottest thing in the whole world."

The main reason for girl pants, coincidentally, is the comfort factor.

"They're a lot more comfortable," Leblanc said. "Especially the stretch kind. It doesn't make sense to me why they don't make guy pants the same. They get a little tight in the crotch every now and then, but that's to be expected."


Agreed.. But also Disagreed on a few things.

I am not a scenester. When I started wearing girlpants it wasn't that big. Of course, a few people still did it. But not everyone like it is now. And since when is it a "hardcore" thing. I think a metal band named Underoath got me into it. Since when is wearing a white belt grindcore? I never knew that. I got mine because It was cheaper then the black belt. Hmm. Would you wear a huge, baggy hoodie if you are going to wear super tight jeans? I think not. It would look stupid. So you wear a tight hoodie.

I believe that the trend of lady jeans started with bands, and peopel noticed it and started doing it. Then those people went to other shows and then people their noticed it. Kind of like how band gets notice. If you know what I mean.

Alot of people don't even know what a scenester is. To tell you one thing. It isn't a great thing to be called a scenester. And it dosen't mean you're scene. Basically means you try way to hard to be scene and you should stop it now.

But hey guys... I wearing girl pants so that means all the bands I listen to are fasioncore. So that means every band in my "interest" is a "fashioncore" band. Yes, including all the real hardcore bands + posi bands are acctually fashioncore. According to the person who wrote that.
22 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2004|08:42pm]
I miss Jeremy :(:(

He is my boy and needs to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was like my big brother.. but at times acted alot younger then me. He even beat the shit out of me like big brothers do.. Ya know??? No offense to Nick.. But ITEH wasn't the same without Jeremy. Jeremy and I started the band... and without Jeremy it wasn't same. Well anyway.. Just letting you all know my emotions. I know Amanda will read it becuase she's a livejournal whore.. Just kidding babe!!

I'm out..
7 comments|post comment

ummmmmmmmmm [09 Apr 2004|12:55pm]
[ mood | HOLY! ]

Post what you think about me, or a fear, or who had sex with yesterday, where, what time, and how it all went down.... Post what I mean to you.. Do it annoynmous fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I mean post anything!!!! ANYTHING!!!!!! how many times do you masturbate a day?? do you think I'm really sick??? ANYTHINGGGNGNGNJNDGNDIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now go shoot the moon!!

7 comments|post comment

[08 Apr 2004|09:44am]
CDS I NEED!!!!!!!

1. through the eyes of the dead - the scars of ages EP
2. Still Remains - If Love Was Born To Die EP
3. Terror - The Lowest Of The Low
4. Premonitions Of War - Left In Kowloon
5. Across Five Aprils - A Tragedy In Progress
6. Stretch Arm Strong - Engaged

Now go buy them for me!!!

Oh yeah, this guy told me that BTBAM + Prayer For Cleansing are christian bands???

12 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2004|09:07am]
every 6 months I post my favorite bands, and hated bands. So here we go:


Falling Cycle
Through The Eyes Of The Dead
Between The Buried And Me
As I Lay Dying
Premonitions Of War
Since The Flood
Stretch Arm Strong
The Comeback Kid
Across Five Aprils
Shia Hulud
Figure Four

- Much Different From Six Months Ago -

Hated (but respected)

The Used
Marylin Manson
Insane Clown Posse
Mindless Self Indulgence
Norma Jean ( I hate them all but one song )
Alkaline Trio
A Fire Inside

- I'm sure this is much different too -

Overrated Bands

Norma Jean
Fordirelifesake ( I like them, but they are way too overrated )
Dashboard Confessional
The Postal Service
When Heroes Fail ( Only In Michigan )
Fall Out Boy
and of course AFI

- I never did this before, but it's very true -

Do you agree with me?? Comment on what you think.
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